Jason had never felt so foolish before, and he hoped he’d never feel so foolish again…
He couldn’t believe he had done it. He had imagined this moment for the past two months. He never believed it would go so very wrong. When he first decided to ask her, he planned out every moment. The only thing he didn’t plan, couldn’t plan, was her reaction.
It all started two months ago. They’d been dating for almost two years and she’d been dropping hints. He knew he loved her but he wasn’t sure he was ready for marriage. It seemed like such a huge commitment. Besides that, he didn’t exactly have the best role models in the commitment arena. HIs parents divorced when he was young. His grandparents on both sides were also divorced, a distinctly rare occurrence. His only sister was on her 3rd marriage. So, you can forgive him if he didn’t have a lot of faith in the institution. No one in his life seemed to be able to make it work so he believed he should just avoid the entire prospect to begin with.
But Sarah did. She wholeheartedly believed in marriage. It was something she’d dreamed of since she was very young and had thought through how the day would play out in her childhood fantasies. Many of these she had shared since she started dating Jason so it wasn’t like he didn’t know where she stood on the topic.
Over time the idea of marriage grew on him. Mostly the idea of being married to Sarah. She made him live, experience life. He was a different person with her. The man he always wanted to be.
So when Sarah told him that her mother had cancer two months ago, he decided. He wanted to marry Sarah and he was going to ask. He wanted to give her something positive to focus on and also her mother. Jason loved Cynthia and she was like a second mother to him. She always said she couldn’t wait to see Jason and Sarah walk down the aisle together. Of course she always followed this up with “No pressure, kids!” and a little wink.
He didn’t tell anyone his plans. He found the ring (scoping out Sarah’s Pinterest page certainly helped). He picked their favorite romantic restaurant and made reservations for the night of their second anniversary, hoping she wouldn’t suspect a thing. He had her favorite flowers, pink lilies delivered to the restaurant and he picked her up at 6pm sharp. The butterflies in his stomach were incessant and he wasn’t sure he could actually go through with it. As they drove to the restaurant he tried to make small talk but it all felt so stilted. Even Sarah seemed off tonight and he couldn’t put his finger on what it was.
At the restaurant he ordered a bottle of her favorite red wine and some appetizers. And they sat there, neither of them saying a word.
Maybe she knows what I’m planning and she is just waiting for me to go for it, he thought.
So he did.
“Sarah, I love you so much and you have given me so much through this relationship. For the first time I enjoy life, enjoy adventures, spontaneity. All those things we do, I’d never have done on my own. You gave that to me. You help me to be the man I’ve always wanted to be. I want to spend the rest of our lives together, to grow old together.”
Jason paused and considered the look on her face. She looked shocked though she still hadn’t said a world.
He continued, “Sarah, will you do me the honor of being my wife?” As he said those words he reached in his pocked and removed a small box from his coat pocket and opened it to show her the gleaming diamond inside.
As soon as she saw the ring, Sarah pushed back her chair making a loud scraping noise on the hardwood floors. She grabbed her bag and ran out of the restaurant leaving a trail of eyes watching her.
A white wolf has come down from the mountains and approaches the perimeter of my garden. She sniffs around the white picket fence that forms its borders. The wolf saunters up to the open gate, turns to look at me through narrowed piercing brown eyes and turns back and enters. The garden is large, filled with flowers, herbs and vegetables of all kinds. I spend every morning in that garden examining each plant, tilling the soil and providing water when needed. It’s as if the wolf knows this is my sanctuary and she is entering my territory. She walks up the main pathway lined with white stones and stops at the towering eggplant leaves, bursting with beautiful violet globes of fruit. It is only then that I hear the faint cries coming from the garden. The wolf carefully lies down on her belly and scoots under the bush ever so carefully so as not to disturb anything. When she emerges, between her jaws she gingerly holds a snow white wolf cub, softly mewing for his mother. The wolf saunters back out of the garden, tosses me one last glance and takes off back into the mountains.
Course Correction 